Fun with Puns

What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.

When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"

What did the toy store sign say? Don't feed the animals. They are already stuffed.

What musical is about a train conductor? "My Fare, Lady"

What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.

What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie

They arrested the bartender for taking liquor home. I believe the official charge was "emboozlement."

I tried to make the plump ladies see the error of their weighs.

What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

What is the difference between a unicorn and lettuce? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.