Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Alcohol Consumption Warning

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

- The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

- The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

- The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your behind kicked.

- The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.

- The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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