Monday, June 2, 2008

History Through Children's Eyes

The following are quotes from exams and papers assigned to 7th through 12th students :

"The Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense."

"Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head."

"Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes."

"The system involving barons and lords was called the futile system."

"Milton wrote 'Paradise Lost.' Then his wife dies, and he wrote 'Paradise Regained.'"

"Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe."

"The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died, and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this."

"Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."

"Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms."

"Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel."

"Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English."

"Bach died from 1750 to the present."

"Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He expired in 1827 and later died for this."

"[Napoleon] wanted an heir to inheret his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children."

"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West."

"Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years."

"Queen Victoria's reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality."

"Queen Victoria's death was the final event which ended her reign."

"Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis."

"Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Spices."

"It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance."

"Without Greeks, we wouldn't have history."

"One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable."

"Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey."

"Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of the same name."

"In the Olympics Games, Greeks ran races jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java."

"The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands."

"When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men."

"Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks."

"The Whiskey Rebellion was when some people got smashed and went and rebelled."

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