Sunday, April 13, 2008

To See or Not To See

I came across this wonderful play of words by Leslie Fieger. A perfect example of how English can be twisted to create the lots of laughter.

I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. It turned out to also be a reality picture checkup.
I enter the office to be greeted by the receptionist, "Can I help you?"
"I hope so." I reply, "I'd like to have the doctor check my eyes and write me a prescription so I can get some new glasses."
"He can't see you today," the receptionist tells me.
"Something wrong with his eyes?" I ask with a smile.
"Pardon me?"
"Why can't he see me today? Does he have temporary blindness?"
"No, he is too busy to see you."
"I've been really busy a couple of times in my life and I never noticed any difference in my sight."
"What are you talking about?" she asks.
"Impaired vision." I answer.
"Well, you are in the right place," she says.
"But not the right time it appears," I counter.
"Looks that way," she affirms.
"Will he be able to see me tomorrow then?"
"No, he can't see you tomorrow. He won't be here."
"I see." I say.
"How about the day after tomorrow? He can see you then." she asks.
"He can see into the future?"
"Is there something wrong with you?"
"Well, I am a little nearsighted," I reply.
"Do you want an appointment to see the doctor or not?"
"Yes, I would."
"What time?"
"How about now?"
"I think you also need to get your hearing tested," she tells me. "I already told you that he can't see you now. You need to have an appointment."
"But I do have an appointment," I tell her.
"I am here for my 11 o'clock appointment."
"You have an appointment for now?"
"Yes, that's why I am here."
"I don't see you in my appointment book," she tells me.
"The doctor can't see me and you don't see me. I feel like I am invisible."
"Did you make an appointment?"
"Now, today at 11."
"It is not in my book."
"Most occurrences in life are not in your book."
"Pardon me?"
"Do you have a lunch date for today in your appointment book?" I ask.
"What? No, I do not."
"You see? That's great. I'll take you to lunch right after my appointment."
"Ok. Ok. I give up," she tells me, "No lunch date, but you can see the doctor next."
"You're sweet," I tell her.
"You're crazy," she tells me.

My prescription ends up being unchanged since my last eye examination five years ago. The doctor can also see just fine. He wants to read my books.

© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.

Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at or


Dawtch said...

I am a CSR for (da da dum) The Cable Company, and daily take calls from English challenged individuals. Not the ones who grew up in a different country, rather those who grew up in Indiana's Public School system...I get things like (actual quote)
"Yeah, I'd like to get some digical cable installated..."
Thanks for helping me see some humor...

Angie said...

That is sooo funny!

Thanks for visiting my blog... I didn't realize you were the author of so many of the blogs I visit through entrecard! You must be as addicted as I'm getting!

CastoCreations said...

That is freaking hilarious!!!

Vickie said...

Hahaha, "I" am really annoying. But at least "I" got to see the doctor next. :P

FabulousGirlyGirl said...

Very nice.

Very nice, indeed.