Monday, January 21, 2008

Puns in Crime

* A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

* A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.

* Prison walls are never built to scale.

* They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted.

* The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged.

* While stealing from a blood bank, the thief was caught red handed.

* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

* A nut named Hazel held up a bank saying 'give me all the cashew have'.

* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

* A librarian caught stealing had the book thrown at her and was put in a three storey jail.

* When a thief stole several volumes from the library he was quickly booked.

* Employed by his jailbird father-in-law a guy soon realized that when an inlaw works for an outlaw -- income depends on outcome.

* The case against a donut thief was full of holes.

* Convicts are committed people.

* The warden gave the inmates acne medicine hoping it would keep them from breaking out.

* A lingerie thief gave a police officer the slip.

* He threw jello at his wife, who had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.

* Stolen eggs are poached.

* Vandals destroyed many road signs. They really pulled out all the stops.

* The hostage said he couldn't stay on the phone long because he was tied up at the moment.

* In jail convicts use cell phones.


2 comments:

Miz UV said...

Those are great!

Chris said...

A midget psychic escaped from the local state pen. The headlines the next day declared "Small Medium At Large!"