Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The Idiotic English

English is a language that I love. Short and sweet when it comes to the number of alphabets (Not like 200+ alphabets in Tamil or worse, unlimited as in Chinese). English is also fun because you can make puns.

I found the following poem as an introduction in one of my daughter's English Assessment books which states succinctly:

The Challenges of learning English

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese;
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or whole lot of mice;
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be pen?
The cow in plural may be cows or bovine.
But the plural of vow is vows not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and show me your feet,
But I give you a boot - should a pair be a beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?
If the singular is this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?
Then one may be that and three may be those,
yet plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methern.
The masculine pronouns are he,his and him
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!
So our English I think by now you'll agree
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

Anon






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